Eulogies and Obituaries

A eulogy is a speech or written tribute that honours someone who has passed, delivered at a funeral or memorial service as a reflection on their life, their impact, and the people they touched. An obituary does similar work on the page — a short, public announcement of the death that captures who the person was and how their life will be remembered. Both are deeply personal acts of love, and both can feel daunting to write. This guide is here to make that work a little easier.

Choosing Who Will Deliver the Eulogy

Before the service, it helps to decide early who will deliver the eulogy rather than leaving it until the last minute. The speaker is usually a close family member or dear friend of the deceased. Some prefer to prepare their remarks in full; others speak from the heart with only a few notes. Whichever approach is chosen, it often helps to gather stories and memories from other family members and friends — a eulogy written from several perspectives almost always feels fuller and more true to the person than one written alone.

Structuring and Writing the Eulogy

Eulogies often move chronologically through a life — early years, family and career, later life — while others focus on a single dimension such as faith, work, or a favourite pastime. The goal is not to list everything, but to offer vivid snapshots of the person at different moments, pointing to the traits and stories that made them who they were. A few practical tips help: think first about which memory or aspect you want to centre on; ask others for stories so you can bring in material beyond your own; use photographs to jog memories; start writing as soon as you are chosen to speak so there is time for revisions; and read your draft aloud to someone you trust before the service.

Delivering the Eulogy on the Day

Practising aloud before the funeral is one of the most powerful steps a speaker can take. It builds confidence, lets you hear which lines work and which are hard to get through, and helps you anchor your focus on honouring the deceased rather than on your own nerves. On the day itself, speak slowly, pause when you need to, and keep a printed copy of your notes in hand even if you know the words by heart. It is completely acceptable to become emotional — mourners are there out of love, not to judge delivery — and a short pause often says as much about the loss as any sentence could.